Depression... In the key of C!

So my initial suspicions were true. My friends kidnapped me and took me to Atlantic City. Well kidnap is a really loose word for it. They didn't even tackle, bound and gag me. There was no shovel in the trunk. Not even a blindfold.

I even got to call my brother. As we headed north, I had deduced the possible destinations. I knew that I was probably not going to be buried under the 50-yard line at Giant Stadium. They probably weren't taking me "upstate".

I called my brother to tell him that we were on our way to New York City. (A likely guess based on the direction and timeline.) He lives just an hour away from New York (and as it turns out only 2 hours from Atlantic City). So my brother came to my rescue (or maybe he was part of the conspiracy. He did have a conversation with one of the kidnappers.)

One thing I've noticed whenever I go to a casino, is just how depressing those places really are. The biggest depressing thing is the senior citizens wasting away their social security checks at the slot machines. All the slot machines have their sounds programmed in the key of C. Studies have shown it to be the most pleasing key to the human ear.

There are no clocks in a casino and there are no windows. All to make your perception of time.

The layout of casinos is specifically designed to disorient you so it's difficult.

The obesity of America is definitely noticeable in these places. So many of the people going into these places are morbidly obese. We held the door open for one gentleman in a wheelchair. It seemed that the only thing wrong with the guy was that he was obese. His mass might have caused back or knee problems.

This reminded me of a conversation that Megan and I had once about the lack of handicap accessibility in Russia. One theory that she had was that because there wasn't such a large problem with obesity, and therefore not a lot of obesity related ailments, the need for handicap access is minimal.

I did notice handicapped people in Russia the day after we had this conversation. Prior to this we hadn't really noticed any. The times when they needed access to buildings, I noticed that their companion, and sometimes good samaritans, would have to go through great lengths to either lift the person and wheelchair over stairs or whatever obstacles.

Back to the casino. We observed, as we sat around chatting, that there are several categories of people that go to gambling towns like Atlantic City or Las Vegas. Even we were a member of a distinct category: working professional men who go to the casinos to do a little gambling with a relatively fixed, self imposed gambling limit, have a few drinks, watch a few people (okay I mean ladies), and speculate on which man will actually solicit one of the many working girls. Unfortunately, we represented a very small harmless minority of the clientele of the casinos.

Some of the various other categories of the people in the casinos:

1. The aforementioned senior citizens at the slot machines
2. The obese tourists waddling from buffet to casino and back to the buffet
3. The working girls
4. The drunk obnoxious kid making pot shots at the staff with his frat brothers in tow
5. The asians. I know it's a bad sterotype but it's mostly true. The asians are there to gamble and most of them are gambling BIG.
6. The annoyed guy that's losing big and will take it out on everyone at the table.
7. The lady at the ATM, coaxing it by yelling "come on, come on, big money!"
8. (Probably the same) 40 year-old lady (who looks sixty because of years of smoking and burning in the sun) at the tables trying to flirt with the dealer to get a good hand.
9. "Cliff and his buddy Norm." (see comercial promoting Las Vegas.)
10. Bachelor(ette) party